Bisexuality in the lifestyle is one of those topics that comes up constantly but rarely gets talked about honestly. There's a lot of assumption, a fair bit of performance, and some genuine experiences that don't get heard because they don't fit the tidy narrative. This tries to cover it properly.
Women and bisexuality in the lifestyle
Female bisexuality is extremely common in the swinging scene. Research consistently finds that the majority of women involved in swinging report some degree of bisexual attraction or experience, significantly higher than the general population. In the UK generally, around 2% of women identify as bisexual, but in lifestyle settings that proportion looks completely different.
There's a complicated conversation underneath this, though, and it's worth having.
Some of the female bisexuality visible in the lifestyle is genuinely about the women involved. They're attracted to women, they enjoy sex with women, and the lifestyle gives them a context to explore that alongside their relationship with their male partner. For these women, the scene is genuinely liberating and the bisexual element is an authentic part of who they are.
Some of it is more situational. Women who wouldn't describe themselves as bisexual in everyday life find that in the right context, with the right person, with the right energy in the room, they enjoy experiences with other women. That's also real and also valid, even if it doesn't come with a label.
And some of it is performed, consciously or not, because female bisexuality is expected and rewarded in lifestyle settings in a way that creates its own pressure. Some research has suggested the purpose of bisexual behaviour in women during swinging is partly to enhance the arousal of their male partner, though the same research found that many of these women scored more than incidentally on the Kinsey scale, suggesting genuine attraction was also at play.
The honest position is that it's usually some combination of all three, and probably varies from person to person and even encounter to encounter. What matters is whether the experience is genuinely wanted.
Men and bisexuality in the lifestyle
Male bisexuality in the swinging scene is a different story and has historically been treated very differently.
For a long time, male same-sex contact was one of the more taboo things in a community that prided itself on being open-minded. Many clubs and events explicitly labelled themselves as "no male bisexuality" or "straight only for men." That rule is still in place at some venues, though it's becoming less common.
What's changed in recent years is the conversation. Male bisexuality has started to gain traction in more progressive circles of the swinging community, with an increasing number of swingers, particularly women, voicing acceptance of male bisexual experiences. The double standard is increasingly noticed and called out, especially by younger people entering the scene.
In practice, many men in the lifestyle have some curiosity about same-sex experience but feel significant social pressure not to express it. The fear of being labelled or judged in a community that is theoretically non-judgemental is real, and it means a lot of male bisexual experience in the lifestyle stays private or undisclosed.
Bi-specific events and clubs do exist in the UK, and there are couples and individuals in the lifestyle who actively seek out bisexual dynamics. That space is growing.
Bi-curious and what it actually means
Bi-curious is probably the most commonly used self-description in lifestyle profiles for both men and women. It signals openness without commitment, which is practical but also sometimes used as cover for people who are more firmly bisexual but aren't ready to use that word publicly.
In a lifestyle context, bi-curious generally means willing to explore same-sex experiences but without a strong established attraction or history. If you're approaching a couple where one or both list themselves as bi-curious, it's worth establishing what that actually means for them before any situation develops. For some people it means enthusiastically open. For others it means they've wondered about it but aren't sure they'd act on it.
The pressure problem
One thing the lifestyle doesn't always handle well is the pressure that can build around bisexuality, particularly for women.
Some couples approach single women or other couples with an expectation of female-female interaction that was never explicitly agreed to. Some men in the lifestyle are disappointed when their female partner doesn't want to be with another woman, having made assumptions about how the night would go. This is worth being clear about in your own profile and in conversations before meeting anyone.
Nobody is obliged to do anything because it's expected or because it would be exciting for someone else. That applies as much to bisexual activity as to anything else in the lifestyle.
Coming to terms with bisexuality through the lifestyle
For some people, the lifestyle is where they first properly acknowledge their own bisexuality. The relatively non-judgemental environment and the practical possibility of same-sex experience can be a context in which something clicks that had previously been pushed down or ignored.
This can be a positive experience or a complicated one depending on the person and the relationship. It's worth noting that discovering genuine bisexual feelings in yourself mid-lifestyle-experience can bring up things that need to be talked about with your partner. Being in the lifestyle doesn't make those conversations automatic.
If this is something you think might apply to you, it's worth thinking about before you're in a situation rather than during it.
The short version
Female bisexuality is common and increasingly well understood in the lifestyle. Male bisexuality is more complex, historically less accepted but changing. Bi-curious means different things to different people and is worth clarifying. Nobody should feel pressured into same-sex experiences because they're expected, and the best experiences come from genuine desire rather than performance.
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