Most couples who host lifestyle events regularly eventually reach the same conclusion: a spare room or dedicated space set up properly for the purpose is worth the investment. The difference between a cleared-out spare bedroom and a space that's been thoughtfully prepared is immediately felt by everyone who uses it.

Here's a practical guide to doing it well without spending more than necessary.

The bed situation

A king size bed with a quality waterproof mattress protector under fitted sheets is the foundation. The waterproof layer is not optional. Get a good one that doesn't crinkle or feel plasticky through the sheets. Have multiple sets of fitted sheets so you can change them quickly during an evening without the room being out of action for long.

A low bed frame or a bed that's closer to floor level works better than a standard height bed for the purposes of multiple people using it comfortably. Ottoman beds with storage underneath are worth considering as they solve the problem of where to put spare bedding and supplies without cluttering the room.

Lighting

This is where most people underinvest and it's one of the highest-impact changes you can make. Overhead lighting is almost always wrong for a play space. Warm, dim, indirect lighting changes the atmosphere of a room dramatically.

Smart bulbs on a dimmer that can be set to a warm, low colour temperature with a simple voice command or phone tap are worth the investment. Fairy lights around the room add to the atmosphere without being tacky if they're the right kind. Avoid anything that creates a red light district effect. Warm amber, not red.

Hygiene and supplies

A dedicated supply station that guests can access without having to ask: condoms in various sizes, quality lubricant, wipes, antibacterial hand gel, tissues. Keep it stocked and visible. This normalises using protection and makes it easy rather than awkward.

A small bin with a lid nearby. Paper roll or a stack of hand towels that can go in the wash. A small table or surface to keep supplies on so they're not scattered around the floor.

Music

A Bluetooth speaker in the room connected to a playlist prepared in advance. Not whatever the algorithm serves up. Something you've actually listened to and know works for the purpose. The music in a play space sets pace and atmosphere in a way that silence doesn't. Keep it at a volume where it's present but not so loud that it makes communication difficult.

Privacy and sound

If sound carries through your walls to neighbours or other rooms in the house, it's worth addressing. Heavy curtains, a door snake, and a rug on the floor all help with both sound and atmosphere. The goal isn't soundproofing but reducing the sense of exposure for people who are aware of noise.

Blackout blinds or heavy curtains that fully block the window are essential. Nobody wants to be visible from outside and the knowledge that they might be creates tension that undermines the whole purpose of the space.

What to skip

Sex furniture like swings and wedge cushions are genuinely useful but they're also a significant investment and not necessary for a first setup. Get the basics right first. If you're hosting regularly and the space is working well, additional furniture can come later.

Mirrors are a polarising choice. Some people love them. Others find them distracting or self-conscious-inducing. Unless you know your regular crowd well enough to be confident they'd welcome them, leave them out of the initial setup.

Red lighting. Just don't.

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